Wherever You Will Go

"Way up high or down low, I'll go wherever you will go..."

If you were a preteen in the 2000s, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Blond mushroom haircut, cross-necklace clad boy banders The Calling crooning about following a girl wherever she will go. Up high, down low. He'd even get Cher in on it and turn back time, if he could.

We talked about that tonight - the house parents Rosa, Angel and I - as they told me the fully epic story of how God turned bad into good in their lives, healed their marriage, and laid out a series of perfect occurrences to bring them here to this amazing boys' ministry in the mountains of Peru. In each step of the way, they followed what God was doing and where He was going - whether dragging their feet or leaping with delight.

That's when it occurred to me - as a Christian, I'm basically a lifelong God stalker, following him like that mushroom cut singer followed that girl- wherever He will go.

"Follow me and I will make you fishers of men." - Jesus, Matthew 4:19

Talk about the calling (ba dum ch). The fishermen Jesus was talking to straight up dropped their nets and followed him. Wherever he went. For, like, three years.

Have you ever had one of those moments? Has God called you to something in your life?

I think callings can and do look different to people. For Rosa, she knew she needed to pray for and re-unite with her estranged husband. For Angel, after reuniting with Rosa, he had a strong feeling he knew he'd be here in the mountains someday in some sort of ministry. For me, God spoke.

Or more truthfully, He whispered.

Let's rewind a bit. I've been in love with Latino language and culture ever since my 7th grade exploratory Spanish teacher asked me if I was Latina because I had a good accent (and I awkwardly told her, "no, I'm Korean and Norwegian" because, well, I'm awkward). The dancing, the romance, the sass, the food, the people, the way over-the-top telenovelas (soap operas), TACOS, all of it. That love carried me from middle school to high school to college, where I decided I wanted to study abroad in Spain. 

But God had other plans. Better plans.

Sophomore year of college, I hit this deep pit of depression. I mean, I was in a real funk and a half. I tried to pull myself out, and it only made things worse.  Thankfully, I had good friends who pointed me back to God and said, "stop trying to do this alone and seek Him." So, I did. I was like, "God, I'm about 50% sure you can hear me right now, but I just know that things suck right now and I'd love it if you came and changed things around."

And so, He came. He changed. He conquered.

How, you ask? He answered that prayer by putting a heavy weight in my chest over going abroad. Like, an actual physical weight I could feel. Unusual, right? 

This weight started in May, and the deadline to apply came in October. I felt pretty confused about it and stubbornly convinced it was still a good idea to go abroad. I didn't get it. I was like, "What's so wrong with it, God??! It's going to be great!" Yet, the closer we got to October, the heavier the weight became.

Finally, I conceded one day, two weeks before the deadline to apply, in the laundry room of my dorm.  I said, "Alright, Lord. If you don't want me to go, I won't go. Just take this weight away."

Half a second later, the weight was gone. I couldn't get it back - I tried. What was left in its place was lightness, peace, protection, and a promise:

"You will do something else abroad someday."

And that was that. I mean, other really awesome God stuff happened after, but nothing yet abroad. Until I graduated college, and I heard the Lord say,

"Pack your bags. Be ready to go. And when I call you, get up and go."

I, in my genius logic, was like, "God, how am I supposed to pack for somewhere if I don't know where I'm going?!" 

So, I didn't pack. 

I went away to work at a music camp that summer. When I finished work at camp and moved back to my college town, my friend asked one day, "hey, want to go check out this new church?" "Sure," I said. Little did I know how showing up at that church on that one day would totally rock my world and change my life.

You see, that very day, when we arrived late and snuck in the back row of this little church, a man stood up and began to talk about a mission trip he took with another church to Peru. He talked about the mission they worked with - a Scripture Union home for abandoned boys called Kusi, and he shared some of the boys' background stories of their lives before Kusi.

By the end of his presentation, I was bawling. Hysterically. Like, hyperventilating. I had never been so convicted in my life. Hearing about this mission for abandoned street boys in Peru gave me the super feels. So, sitting in the back row of this little church, I started to pray, "Lord, send me. I want to go."

Then, I heard Him say, strongly yet softly, "Go." Like, heard it. As if He were sitting next to me, leaned over and whispered it aloud and also somehow magically into my entire soul.

There it was. That fateful day the Lord kept and began His promise. That day where I happened to show up at this one little church out of hundreds of churches in the area and this one man happened to be talking about his mission trip to Peru and we happened to catch the presentation. All of these happenings that just happened to be perfectly orchestrated.

So, I followed God to Peru. So far, He's led me to six trips and a cumulative half year spent in Peru, hundreds of new friends, a new Peruvian family, and a passion and love that just keep growing for these boys and this mission.

I love being here. As much as I love you all and my family so so dearly and I'm so blessed to have you, sincerely sincerely, I feel at home here. I'm just happy. This is literally what the Lord has called me to, and I am so blessed by it- through hardships and delight. 

I like to joke that, if I ever get married, it'll take one heck of a guy to get between me and my Peru, but I think it's true (or, even better, he'll love it as much as I do!). Since I've been here, I've seen the devil try to discourage me and bring me down - to convince me that I'm not supposed to be here. Thankfully, I've been blessed with the voices of those around me who know God and know me - who remind me that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. It's refreshing to hear those words because I can just let go and really focus on Jesus and what he's doing here. I can let go and listen for how the Lord wants to love His people here in Peru - these boys, this community, and I can ask Him to be a part of that every day. I can get over myself, drop my net, and follow him.

That's my encouragement for you - that you drop your net and follow him wherever he's going. From what I can tell from personal experience, it's the best adventure you could ever have.

"The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." - Jesus, John 10:10